Writing in the Stillness.

This is a brand-new blank space all ready for me to fill with my thoughts and ideas. My sole purpose in creating this space is to share what's in my heart. In this ever-darkening world, a ray of goodness is what we need. {#sharegoodness}

To back-up a bit, I have always been a writer. Ever since I was old enough to hold a pencil in my hand, I have been writing. One of my earliest memories is of sitting on the kitchen floor while my parents talked at the table. I picked up an old notebook and pen and began making squiggles across the lined paper. I didn't stop until I had filled the entire page with what I thought was beautiful cursive. I excitedly exclaimed to my parents, "Look! I can write!" And a writer was born.

The other day I sifted through old boxes of childhood belongings. Among the trophies, teddy bears, and music boxes, I found a manilla envelope in which my mother had carefully placed many of my hand-written, fully-illustrated stories. I gathered my children around me to read them the silly stories. Memories flooded my mind.

I can't count the books and stories and poems I created over the years. I entered a writing contest in 2nd or 3rd grade for the "best story to be turned into a movie." I wrote a fantasy complete with a trap door that led to a magical world and unicorns. And even though I never heard anything more from the contest, I kept writing. In 5th grade I submitted a poem about chickadees to a bird newspaper. I was elated when it was published! My reward was the edition of the newspaper where my poem was found. And even though I detested the smell and feel of newspaper, I wrapped it up and saved it in my box.

As a sophomore I submitted an essay about my great-great-great-great grandfather to a statewide essay contest. And when my grandmother opened the letter and read it to me over the phone (since I was living overseas at the time), I honestly couldn't believe I had won! The prize for this contest was $500 which I placed in a savings account. (Several years later, I used the money to buy my husband's wedding ring).

Yes, I have always been a writer. But somewhere along the line, I stopped writing. Not entirely, of course. My bottom dresser drawer continued filling up with various journals, and I kept up on a family blog regularly. But my creative writing, the writing of poetry and insights, mostly came to a standstill.

For a while I kept up on a personal blog that can be found here, but even that space was eventually set aside with three small children and the demands of being a homemaker, a photographer, and an active member in my church.

I told myself that someday I would write again. Maybe when all my children left the house and I had more time. But every time I told myself this excuse, I felt a pit in my stomach and everything kind of churned around in my heart. Writing wasn't a necessity, I continued. Just a hobby that could be put aside for half a lifetime.

But last week, something changed. And over the period of several days, a myriad of experiences led me to feel down deep in my soul, that I can't stop being a writer just because I'm busy. I wrote the following in my journal:

"When did you stop believing that all the magic you'll ever need is right inside of you? When did you start believing that all the experts know better than you? When did you stop composing poetry and start compiling notes? The greatest treasures you could ever write about are buried deep within your soul. All you have to do is dig for the jewels."

There is a message the Lord needs to share through me. There is something I need to share with the world. And even though I'm scared and have to battle through the discouragement that no one will ever even find these words, I will press on. Because if I can reach somebody, somewhere and offer them some little bit of encouragement and hope in this broken world, then my part will be worth it.

And while the entire scope of this blog is still somewhat hazy, I have been compelled to start now. And even though I do not know how this project will evolve or what it will entail, I do know one thing. My whole aim and desire that is burning brightly within is to serve. To lift. To inspire. To encourage. To teach the small things I have learned that may bless your life. I may be a small and simple girl, but the Lord can work through me to accomplish great purposes. (See Alma 37:6) Of this I know.

And so in the quiet of my peaceful bedroom seated at my desk, I begin today.

To write in the stillness.

{Let's Bring it Home Together: Do you have a brightly-lit passion that has been dimmed over time as you've repeatedly set it aside for a "better time?" If it's too unfathomable for you to pick it up yet, all you need to do for now is identify your passion. And be aware that it's still there for you.}