Feasting...

Today the morn began with a cloud of gloom on my head and remembrances of all that is worrying me and how weak I really am.

But then a feast in the word of God gave me new hope.

The story of King Lamoni has always touched me.  How he had been taught from his youth incorrect traditions and untruths.  How he had walked in ignorance his whole life, never knowing the doctrine of God or the Savior or the atonement.

And when he was finally given the glorious truths by the inspired missionary, Ammon, his heart was changed and he cried unto the Lord for mercy.

Subsequently, he fell to the earth and remained in this state for several days as he was taught in vision from on high.  The queen was concerned.  Was her husband dead?  But Ammon comforted her with the words, "...he sleepeth in God, and on the morrow he shall rise again;" (Alma 19:8)

And the verse that touched my heart so deeply today was this:

"Now, this was what Ammon desired, for he knew that king Lamoni was under the power of God; he knew that the dark veil of unbelief was being cast away from his mind, and the light which did light up his mind, which was the light of the glory of God, which was a marvelous light of his goodness--yea, this light had infused such joy into his soul, the cloud of darkness having been dispelled, and that the light of everlasting life was lit up in his soul, yea, he knew that this had overcome his natural frame, and he was carried away in God--" (Alma 19:6)

And as I read, I wanted this experience of light infusing my soul with joy and dispelling all clouds of darkness.  But how?

The answer came quickly.

I needed to fast from ingratitude and feast upon all of the goodness that the Lord is giving me.

I knew I needed to continue what I have been trying to practice all year--Eucharisteo, daily thanksgiving, praise to my Father.  And this I needed to do more fervently than I have been mustering these last few months.  My 1000 Gift List had only reached 616, and I knew I needed to recommit to writing down the gifts, the graces, the tender mercies from on high...every day...and many times during the day.  I knew I needed to rededicate my efforts in this cause so I can finish this year having fulfilled my goal of giving the Lord my daily praise for all of His goodness, His mercy, His grace.

And I will chronicle this journey, this practice, this 3-month project here...because this feasting on gratitude will surely produce great happiness on my continual quest for happiness.

 I sat down and pulled out my Gift List and scrawled out mercies until I reached 630.

And now my soul feels satisfied as it has been infused with gratitude and empowered with the Spirit.

I stand forever grateful for the tender mercy upon tender grace that the Lord gives to me.

The cloud has gone now.  And "the light of the glory of God, which [is] a marvelous light of his goodness" is warming my soul like the rays of Autumn sunshine.

It's yet again, a new beginning.

Year of Eucharisteo.

Ann Voskamp says:

"I name years like I’ve named babies because each one births a different life that needs to be raised up and remembered."

 I've recognized this with the passing of each year, how each one presents itself differently woven together with common thread that make a tapestry theme.

I have noticed the last few years have taken on their theme from the "gift" that I've decided to give my Savior on Christmas for the coming year.

And this past Christmas I gave Him the gift of "living in Thanksgiving daily."

Some days life has poured me joy unending.  Other days it has been an upward battle.  But in it all, I have been practicing an attitude of gratitude like President Monson counseled us to cultivate.

Said he, "...to express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven."

This is, in essence, what "eucharisteo" means.

 From Matthew 15:32-38:

“And Jesus saith unto them, How many loaves have ye? And [the disciples] said, Seven, and a few little fishes.
“And [Jesus] commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground.
“And he took the seven loaves and the fishes, and gave thanks, and brake them, and gave to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.”

President Monson says, "Notice that the Savior gave thanks for what they had—and a miracle followed: “And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets full.”

From the pen of Sharaya Crossan:

"In the original language, 'gave thanks' is written eucharisteo. He gave thanks. He broke apart. He gave. The bread. Himself. Eucharisteo.

"The root word of eucharisteo in the Greek is charis meaning gift or grace. He took the bread and saw it as a gift...Do we see the common like bread and drink as pure grace, unmerited gifts from He who can do nothing but give? Do we take up each moment of life in this way, both the mundane and the trials of life?

"Charis also forms the root of the Greek word chara, meaning joy. Those three words...grace, thanksgiving, joy...come together. In all circumstances, even in our greatest trial, we can receive from Him this sustenance. Now served to us with nail-scarred hands, first we taste of grace—that He delights in us in His generous benevolence. Then we savor it with thanksgiving that both springs up from our spirit and nourishes us right down to our souls. And our dessert? Joy! Joy...from thanksgiving...from grace, freely bestowed on us, His beloved.

"With the taking, with the thanking, comes the breaking. As we feast upon His eucharisteo, so we then take our lives...our time, our talents, our treasure...and in the power of grace and in the spirit of thanksgiving, 'break' them to share them with a hungry world around us—our spouse, our children, our extended family, our community, our world. It is our gift...because freely we have received; therefore, freely we give."

And so this year, this beautiful year of eucharisteo, I will gather the daily manna sent so lovingly from my Father.  I have lingered long in the attitude of the Israelites when they saw the manna from heaven and "wist not what it was."  But now the Spirit whispers as perfectly clear as Moses spoke in response:  "This is the bread which the Lord hath given you to eat." (Exodus 16:15)

The bread He gives me is the only Begotten Son and all of the miracles and beauty which, because of Him, are showered down upon me as abundantly as the manna from heaven.  I need only to gather, to notice, to relish each sweet morsel.  And then I will break my own bread of service for all around me, especially my dear family loved ones.  I will give myself as an offering, just as He did, but in a much smaller and more finite way.

How can I say it better than Ann?

"This work—the thousand endless jobs—they each give the opportunity for one to become the gift, a thousand times over!

"Because with every one of the thousand, endless jobs, I become the gift to God and to others, because this work is the public God serving, the daily liturgy of thanks, the completing of the Communion service with my service."

"...our happiness comes, too, not in the having but in the handing over.

"Give your life away in exchange for many lives, give away your blessings to multiply blessings, give away so that many might increase, and do it all for the love of God. 

"I can bless, pour out, be broken and given in our home and the larger world and never fear that there won’t be enough to give. because eucharisteo has taught me to trust that there is always enough God. He has no end. And it is God Himself who serves me as I serve.

"Here you can enact eucharisteo; here you can become a current in a river of grace that redeems the world!

"God can be in me, even me, and use these hands, these feet, to be His love, a love that goes on and on and on forever, endless cycle of grace.

 

"I am blessed.
"I can bless.
"So this is happiness."