Day 12: Envision

Do you have a vision of where you want your life to be in one year? Do you have a plan of how to get there? Do you have goals to fulfill your plan?
Peace comes in knowing how you want to live your life--what you want to become, accomplish, and experience. It is so good for the soul to dream...

Take time every so often to make goals big and small so your dreams can become reality. We all have ideas of what we wish our life could be. Anything is possible. Believe in your dreams and the vision for your life. Believe that your deepest wishes, your heartfelt desires can be realized. Then make actionable steps to get there.

Here is the formula:

1. Dream (Let your mind daydream about all the marvelous opportunities for your life)
2. Wish (From your daydreams, what do you wish you could have, experience, or accomplish in your life?)
3. Vision (Create a vision for your year [or 5 years, 10 years, etc.])
4. Map (What is your plan--your overarching goals--to realize your year's vision?)
5. Actionable Steps (What small steps can you take to reach your overarching goals?)

This is the way goal planning works best for me:

YEARLY VISION
January is a special month for me. I take weeks rereading the past year's journals and blog posts to see what I learned and experienced the past year and where to go from here. Then I create a theme for my year and a few overarching goals to accomplish. These overarching goals fall under the following categories: spiritual connection, homemaker, self care, health, creativity, marriage, and family.

MONTHLY MAP
On Fast Sunday, Patrick and I sit together in what we like to call "Companionship Inventory." We begin with prayer and then discuss our goals from the past month and how our children are doing. After that, we make new goals for ourselves and how to help our children. We run through our calendar for the coming months and plan a time to attend the temple together. Afterward, we tell each other a reason we are grateful for one another and then end with our testimonies and a closing prayer.

WEEKLY STEPS
I take a few minutes each Sunday to assess where I am and how the past week played out for me. Then I create a few actionable steps for the upcoming week and pencil them in my planner and calendar to ensure they happen. If I don't check up on myself once a week, my goals fall by the wayside and I fail to make progress toward my monthly goals and yearly vision.

BONUS TIP
One of my favorite ways to turn my dreams into a reality is to ponder on them as I fall asleep. Imagining yourself living the life of your dreams or accomplishing your goals is an amazing way to jumpstart your success. There are many free guided meditations you can listen to or you can simply visualize yourself.

My challenge for you today is to try some of these steps. As I have turned my dreams into reality through creating visions, maps, and steps to get there, I have felt deep, calming peace. I know the same can be for you...

31 Days to Peace Index

Day 11: To Serve

To serve is noble. It brings a peace that passes understanding. It knits hearts together and blesses both the giver and the receiver. It is gratifying and miraculous to receive, but giving adds a glorious dimension to life.

It was two weeks ago today that we gathered as a Stake Relief Society to sew pillowcases and make quilts for a women's shelter. I remember walking into the gymnasium where dozens of women were milling about with yards of fabric in hand, piecing together matching fabrics, folding, cutting and ironing. There were a dozen sewing machines humming and brand new pillows were piled on the floor under the stage. Tables were covered with fleece blankets, circled by smiling women tying the ends. The whole scene reminded me of a lovely beehive.

I decided to help at an area I knew I could be successful--ironing. Sewing has never been a great talent of mine, but ironing I could do. My job might have seemed meaningless, only it wasn't to me. I ironed pieces of unfinished pillowcases for a few minutes, but soon completed pillowcases started piling on the stage behind me. I ironed each and every one in the pile.

The lights shinig down on me were as warm as the iron, making me feel all aglow inside.  Music played off to my right--songs by Hilary Weeks. In one song she sang of never knowing what a difference we make as we bless the lives of those around us. Tears stung my eyes and blurred my vision for a brief moment. I imagined sorrowing women accepting these hand-sewn pillowcases I was ironing and stroking the fabric as if it were the most beautiful gift in the world. I imagined their heads falling into their new pillows draped in a beautiful pillowcase and feeling a comfort perhaps never experienced.

I thought of my own iron at home sitting on the shelf collecting dust. The only time it gets used is when my husband irons his clothes for work. I don't even iron our clothes--I thought to myself--let alone my family's pillowcases and yet here I am carefully pressing and folding these. Why? Because these pillowcases are not for me. They are for Him. And they must be the very best. The scripture from Matthew flashed through my mind:

"Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

"When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

"Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Time passed and the women finished up their tasks to congregate at the dinner tables. But since I had arrived late, I kept working until the last possible minute. I just couldn't leave until all the pillowcases in the pile had been ironed. I was nearly finished when I noticed a lady carefully place a pillowcase on top of the pile. I instantly recognized it. It was sewn from the fabric I had donated a few weeks before. It was beautiful. I smiled to myself and felt a sweet and tender approval from my Father in heaven. My work had been accepted. My service was enough.

And my peace? It was overflowing...

31 Days to Peace Index

Day 10: Have Fun

I've been with my son's 2nd grade class today on a field trip. My sweet mother came over in the wee hours of the morn to babysit my other two little ones. I left my housework, my to-do list, and all other cares behind me and together, my son and I went on an adventure.

I had four little boys in my group and their contagious laughter and smiles were enough to make the whole day perfect. They crawled on the ground under the machine guns and asked me to take about a thousand pictures of them posing in front of jets and helicopters and statues. We went on two scavenger hunts and they each made their own rockets and launched them. My son's rocket, which he proudly named the "Tiger Seeker" sailed high and spiraled all the way down. He was all grins and elation running over to me to ask if I had seen it.

On the way home, the school kids were geared up and sword-fighting with their rockets. The windows were ALL down and the wind was whipping my hair everywhere. But it was the best. I loved every minute.

Now I'm home and everything is still as my littles watch a short movie (Friday is movie day!!) I'm so glad I took the time out of my schedule to just have fun. Why don't I do this more often? Why do I sometimes get so caught up in the thick of thin things and neglect to relish fun activities with my children while they're little?

What fun activities do you regularly or spontaneously do with your family? I love to hear ideas from anybody who will share them.

In my family, we love weekends. By Friday morning, I'm ready for some family fun. There's just something special about Friday nights. It's like a magical aura hangs over the whole day with the promise of no more work, no more school, and a whole weekend ahead of you.

Growing up, Friday was our family fun night. We almost always visited four different fast food restaurants to order every person the thing they most wanted and then headed home to hunker downstairs in our beautiful cozy room my mother had so beautifully decorated. My sisters and I sat on the floor by the green coffee table and we watched a movie on Pax TV or one of our favorite family videos. After dinner we'd have ice cream and finish our movie, then head off to bed in bliss.

Now that I have a little family of my own, our family traditions are still being formed. I'm sure our Friday nights will mold and transform as the years progress, but for now we have ice cream and watch a family movie together in our upstairs theater every Friday night. We call it "Family Movie Night."

What is special about your Friday nights?

As for other fun things we like to do together as a family on any random day of the week, I could compile quite a list. Here are a few of our current favorites (all of which could happen more frequently):

• Summer vacations
• Winter swimming in a hotel swimming pool
• Eating out once or twice a month
• Eating lunch with Daddy at his work once a week
• Going to parks
• Going out to ice cream
• Playing board games
• Dance parties
• Wrestling
• Going to a park
• Having picnics upstairs to watch a movie
• Having picnics outside 
• Riding the 4 wheeler while pulling the small 4 wheeler behind us in the hills surrounding our home
• Playing in the snow
• Making cookies or hot chocolate or popcorn
• Having little contests (legos, play doh, art, relay races, etc.)
• Holiday traditions
• Playing catch or basketball
• Singing together

Here are some I'd love to try:

• Exercising together
• Doing hobbies together
• Minute to Win it Competitions
• Scavenger Hunts
• Talent Shows

Could you give me any more ideas to add to my list?

My biggest obstacle I face in implementing more "fun" into our family life is TIME. Why does everything feel so rushed these days? Even when I have relatively little planned I find the hours slipping away too swiftly. Is there any answer to the age-old time trial?

I think there is.

Will you accept the challenge? Can you introduce a little bit more fun this weekend? Try it and see what a difference it makes.

31 Days to Peace

Day 9: A Positive Lens Invites Light

Sometimes we think we just get a handle on peace--only to be pelted with a flurry of discouraging words and negative thoughts. How do you keep your inner sense of calm when negativity threatens to knock you at every turn?

This is something which I continue to battle. Even today I've grasped for answers. I talked to my sister on the phone for a long while to uncover the jewels of wisdom from one of the most positive people I know.

Everything she said resonated with me. What an example she is to me!

After reading an article about the horrible effects of negative self-talk and the resulting critical attitude toward others, she made a turning point decision to radically change her thoughts and her words to the positive. She chose to love herself and eliminate the negative self-talk. She chose to only speak positive words to and about her brand new baby girl and only complimentary, edifying words that lifted those around her. And she admitted that the results were unbelievable. The growth was striking. She and all those in her sphere of influence began to blossom. Even the world and trees were brighter and more beautiful. Truly, that one decision was life-changing.

And as I listened to her words, I wanted to be like her. I want to have that kind of effect on myself, my family, and all the people I encounter each day. I want that same peace that shines from her heart.

The only way to accomplish this is to put new lenses in my "glasses" and choose to see with a new perspective.

It starts with kindness to ourselves. Not even one negative thought about ourselves should be allowed to remain on the stage of our minds! When one creeps up, we must have the courage to replace it immediately with a positive statement. There are hundreds of affirmations we could use. Here are a few to start with:

• I am awesome! (or wonderful, or beautiful, or anything positive!)
• I have confidence in me!
• I am powerful and I use my power for good!
• I am guided!
• I can do this!
• I can do anything!
• I am enough!
• I have faith!
• I give myself permission to be myself!
• Today will unfold for my greatest good!
• I am special and unique!
• I am priceless and eternally valuable!

Think of your own. Mix and match and use a statement that seems to fit your current circumstance. Say it to yourself. Say it out loud. Whisper it quietly. Write it down over and over. Even if it doesn't feel true, trust that one day it will. You will develop the self confidence, self love and positivity you need!

Second, be positive to those around you. Build them up. Never tear them down. Look for the tiniest shred of good and capitalize on that. Be that one shining light they need. Be the answer to their prayers. Be the friend you've always wanted to have.

As you bit by bit, eliminate the negative and replace it with the positive, your peace will abound and grow and swell to a glowing warmth in your heart. Positivity invites light. Negativity invites darkness. 

Look to the light!
Reach for the light!

31 Days to Peace Index

Day 8: Have a Gray Day

Have you ever had one of those days where you wish you could just crawl back in bed and start the day over again? Or maybe run away and hide from everything going wrong? Or maybe fast forward time so quickly that the day is completely over and you can just fall into bed? I know I have.

Of course, if these types of days become the norm instead of the exception, there may be other issues or factors we need to address with a trusted loved one, a counselor, or a healthcare professional. I'm definitely not saying that bad days are good or normal or desirable. But bad days do come along and when they do, it is so much easier to accept it for what it is, than to try and resist it.

In the past, whenever bad days crept my way, I would first try to ignore the fact, slapping on a fake smile and telling myself that everything was okay. After all, I wasn't allowed to have bad days. But this approach often made things worse. As we live in denial of the bad day, we get angry inside because the triggers are still bothering us, and then we get angry because we're angry. We're mad because we're having a bad day, and then mad because we're mad!

Here are 4 Easy Steps to Overcome a Bad Day:

1. ACCEPT IT: I have found that the best way to deal with a bad day is to first accept it. Give yourself permission to have a bad day.
2. NAME IT: Next, call it something different. I like to call my bad days "Days of Opportunity" because this day will be a catalyst for change, an opportunity to slow down and rest, or a day of hope as I restore balance. You can label the day whatever feels right to you.  By renaming the day, you'll create a blank canvas all ready for the next step.
3. TRUST IT: Step three is to see this bad day in a light of awareness. Choose to realize that something good will come of it. Maybe you'll learn a crucial lesson; maybe you'll develop strength; maybe you'll take much-needed rest to relieve stress; maybe an "Aha moment" is coming your way; or maybe you'll look back on this day and laugh. Remember that sometimes you'll see the silver lining during this "Day of Opportunity" and sometimes you won't. Don't let yourself worry about this. Whatever good comes will come and one day you will see it. Trust in this fact.
4. USE IT: Lastly, use this day to your advantage. Bad days usually signal that some good old-fashioned downtime is needed. See if you can take a break and then give yourself a break if you are not able to accomplish everything you had on your to-do list. There will be other days to check things off your list. Your body and mind will heal and recover much faster if you sit down, relax, breathe, and tune into the present moment. Ask yourself what you need right now in this very moment. Pray for ideas of how to rest and recharge. Then commit to follow through without feeling guilty.

I hope these ideas help you when confronting the dreaded bad day. Please add your own strategies in the comments so we can learn from you too!

I hope that today is a wonderful day for you! But if not, let it be one grand day of opportunity!!!!

31 Days to Peace Index

Day 7: Connect to Family.

When all is said and done, family truly is our greatest treasure. To have the love and support of a family is the ultimate blessing.

Does it matter how many possessions we accumulate, how much money, prestige or career success we attain if we have no one with whom to share it?

We are sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, grandmas, grandpas, nieces and nephews. Whether our families live in the same home, next door, across town, across the country, across the world, or even across heaven, we are surrounded by family members who could be for us a network of encouragement, faith, support, and love--if we simply took the time to reach out.

How do you build your family relationships?

Growing a strong, love-based relationship takes a lot of patience, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, and proactive acts of loving kindness. There is much nurturing, nourishing, weeding, and watering to be done. But the end result of a "family garden" full of flowers and trees and shrubs provides a haven of peace. The garden is well-worth the effort.

I had an experience over ten years ago that taught me this lesson in a very profound way. I was living in Portugal at the time, and this experience taught me many unique life lessons--one of which was the importance of family relationships. In a place where very few spoke English, my family became my best friends. I was four years older than one sister and six years older than my youngest sister. Before our mission, I considered them to be my sweet, fun little sisters, but had rarely played with them since entering my "teenage years." During that first year in Portugal though, everything changed. They became my everything. We shared secrets and stories. We created movies and slideshows and Sunday lessons. We laughed and cried and sometimes quarreled and got angry. And together with my mom, we literally became best friends.

The second year was even better than the first, but as it came to a close, I knew that I would soon be leaving my family to go back to the US to attend college. It was an abrupt and halting thought as I considered that my childhood was quickly coming to an end. It was time to grow up. One night, as I contemplated the relationships we had built over the past two years, I realized there was more I needed to do before I left. One of my sisters needed more of me. I knew I could do better. I could be more patient and loving and friendly and kind.

So I prayed to be given "a mission" from the Lord. And through the whisperings of the Holy Ghost, He called me to be "a gardener." Through personal revelation I felt that I was in a unique position as an older sister to instill self-esteem, confidence, and love in my younger sister in a way that no one else could. I was prompted to pull out a clean sheet of white paper and with red, purple, and pink markers, draw a small flower on the paper every time I performed for my sister an act of service, love, patience, or confidence-building.

I worked hard and planted diligently and witnessed our sisterhood flourish in ways I had never imagined. After several months, my paper was filled with a beautiful flower garden, and while I hope it made a difference for my sister in some small way, looking back, I realize that I was the one who most benefitted. To this day my sister remains one of my dearest and truest friends.

And so I extend the challenge to you...

Will you accept the call to be a gardener? Will you plant seeds of love, time, memories, forgiveness, and acts of kindness in your circle of family members?

A richly abundant garden awaits you...



31 Days to Peace Index

Day 6: Connect with You.

Yesterday we explored different ways to Connect with Heaven. Today we'll discuss how to connect with ourselves, and tomorrow, how to connect with our family.

I chose to write about heaven first because that is our essential lifeline.

Today I wish to address the topic of connecting with and caring for ourselves. If we wish to connect with our families, serve those around us, make a unique contribution to the world, and experience inner peace, we must first connect with ourselves. The old saying, "you can't draw water from an empty well," is true. Spending time getting to know ourselves and taking care of ourselves is essential to serving. As we love ourselves, love will naturally flow to those around us. It's a natural by-product.

I went through a period of time in my life when I felt like my season of mothering required sacrificing and only sacrificing for my children. I thought I had to lay aside "me" for the benefit of my children--all my talents, hobbies, health needs, interests, desires, everything. Even though I knew my children would someday grow up and I could start to take care of myself again, I soon began noticing the negative impact this had on my physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual wellbeing. I wasn't happy and I certainly wasn't "the mother of my dreams."

It wasn't until I learned how to properly take care of myself that I really started to thrive--both as a person and as a mother. I guess it had never occurred to me that I could take care of me and my children simultaneously. But it is possible. I am living proof.

So how do we go about caring for ourselves adequately?

My dad often counseled missionaries to implement "The Forgotten 5." These 5 principles supply the perfect foundation for evaluating our self-care:

1. Eat right.
2. Drink right.
3. Get sufficient rest.
4. Get sufficient exercise.
5. Do something for yourself.

They are simple and straightforward, but often forgotten. When our lives get ultra stressful and we start to feel a lack of inner peace, these five things are usually the first to go (along with heaven connections and consistently turning inward through meditation and pondering). Yet what we don't realize is that by dropping them, we are letting go of the very things that will sustain us, replenish our reserves, release stress, and create overall health and wellbeing.

So take a few minutes to evaluate yourself. Are you weak in any of these areas? Maybe all of them?

As you assess your habits, there are two crucial things to keep in mind. First, remember to enjoy the activities you do to care for yourself. If you only eat healthy or perform a rigid exercise regime because you have to, you will not be motivated to stick with it long-term. Make small changes that while comfortable, also stretch you, and just improve a little at a time. Small efforts of consistency are far more beneficial than large overhauls that fizzle.

Second, remember that caring for your health (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) is not selfish. It is necessary and good. There is definitely a balance to strike as you decide how much time to devote to self-care and how much time to give to your family, work, responsibilities, and service. But as you connect to heaven, you will be led to know how to prioritize effectively. There are hours enough in the day for all of the things that truly matter.

I can promise you that if you properly take care of yourself, the rest of your life will flourish and peace will swell.

31 Days to Peace Index