Day 29: Stand United

A few nights ago, my oldest son gave us a family home evening lesson about Captain Moroni and the Title of Liberty. He compared it to The Family: A Proclamation to the World and how we need to know what we stand for as a family.

So we took out my giant roll of brown kraft paper and made ourselves a family banner....

As we colored and wrote words and phrases about the things that are most important to us, peace streamed into our home.

And now it's hanging above our banister in all it's imperfectly glorious perfection. I don't know how long it will stay there, but I love it because it's ours. It came from our hearts and it represents what we believe and hold rooted deep in our hearts as a family.

What does your family stand for? Are you united in your standards and beliefs?

As we anchor our families to the values we hold most dear, we can be a strong, support network for one another and even become very best friends.

Truly, a family united is a peaceful family...

31 Days to Peace Index

Day 28: Meditation

When we set aside a little bit of time each day to breathe deeply and meditate, our health and happiness skyrockets.

At a recent BYU Education Week, Hank Smith spoke about the "science of happiness." He also spoke about the effects of meditation:

“Through MRI technology over the last 10 years, brain scans have become absolutely wonderful. Your frontal lobe is where happiness is located. When someone is really sad, the right side of the frontal lobe lights up. And when someone is happy, the left part of the frontal lobe lights up. Happiness and sadness occur in different places of the brain. Meditation will fire up the left frontal lobe and flood your brain with dopamine."

There are countless scientific studies and articles about the power and benefits of regular meditation. My purpose today is not to cite source after source, (you can research those on your own), but to inspire you to try meditation and deep breathing for yourself. When we quiet our minds in meditation, and slowly breathe, we release the stresses of the day, we let go of our worries, and we allow ourselves to relax.

There is a stillness that comes from pausing to meditate on a daily basis. And I have found an exponential increase in peace, happiness, and calm since beginning a daily meditation practice. It's definitely a habit worth cultivating.

When could you find a slice of time to dedicate to mediation and deep breathing? Just before bed? When you rise in the morning? During an afternoon break? A consistent time will provide best results and establish the habit more effectively.

I have tried morning and evening and everything in between, and have found that currently, the most conducive time for me to set aside is in the evening just after I tuck my children into bed. It's a natural way for me to unwind my day.

Now the question--what to meditate about? Really, there isn't a right or a wrong way. Whatever comes easily and naturally to you. There are guided meditation podcasts you can download on your phone (and many of them are free!) There are apps you can download as well. I use both of these methods on a nearly daily basis as well as my own personal way. I love to meditate about my Savior's life, my dreams for the future, the unfolding of a perfect day, gratitude, forgiveness, love, my purpose and missions in life. I often receive very clear personal revelation when I ponder a question that has been on my mind. And sometimes meditation involves clearing your mind completely and simply thinking about nothing.

You decide which method(s) work best for you and the time of day you prefer. And if you endeavor to install this new practice in your life for 30 days, I can promise that your life will drastically change for the better.

Day 27: Find Your Pond.

Do you have a special place to which you can retreat when you need to think or ponder or meditate or commune with the Lord?

When the Savior lived on this earth, he often retreated to "a desert place"to rest, be alone, speak with His Father, or teach His disciples. Our Master, Jesus Christ, always sets the supreme example for us.

I love the admonition He gives His apostles on one occasion:

"And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desertplace, and rest a while:" --Mark 6:31

I have always loved this story from Elder L. Tom Perry from a General Conference talk entitled "Let Him Do it with Simplicity" (2008):

I remember a particular period of my life when I was under unusual stress. There were troubles with my employment, and at the same time, my wife was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. This was one of those times when it felt like the adversary had mounted a frontal assault against me and my family. On days when the stresses and anxieties of our tumultuous life were about to get the best of us, my wife and I found a way to relieve them.

We drove to a place just a few miles from our home to get away for a few moments of relief from our troubles, talk, and give emotional comfort to each other. Our place was Walden Pond. It was a beautiful little pond surrounded by forests of trees. When my wife was feeling strong enough, we’d go for a walk around the pond. Other days, when she did not feel up to the exertion of walking, we’d just sit in the car and talk. Walden Pond was our special place to pause, reflect, and heal. Perhaps it was partly due to its history—its connection to the efforts of Henry David Thoreau to separate himself from worldliness for a period of years—that Walden Pond offered us so much hope for simplicity and provided such a renewing escape from our overly complex lives.

This story is so tender and poignant to me. Can you imagine moments of bitterness turning to sweet peace in the hollow of this one special pond?

Where is your pond? Do you have one? Not a literal pond perhaps. But ponds of peace come in all shapes and sizes. Your pond could be a favorite backyard tree, a nearby hilltop, a quiet corner in a city park or even your starry window.

If so, picture it in your mind for a moment and describe it to yourself. What do the surroundings look like? More importantly, what does it feel like when you pause within this special sanctuary? Would you consider sharing about your pond below in the comments?

If you do not yet have a peaceful pond, consider where you might retreat to turn inward, be still, and reflect. Pray for inspiration, and the Lord will reveal to your heart a special space just for you.

I have moved so many times over the past decade that I'm not sure I have ever established a permanent pond. But today I will begin the search. Because I need a lovely, quiet place to envision, muse, dream, and contemplate--I need my very own pond of peace...

31 Days to Peace Index

Day 26: What Can I Give?

The mark of a true disciple of Christ and a sure way to peace is love.

Christ loved us so much that He paid for our sins and died for us. His love is infinite and ever-present. He sees each of us as who we can become. He loves us for it and loves us even in the midst of our messiness. He is love--the perfect embodiment.

To love as He loves is the great possibility of our lives. I think it's one of the reasons we came to earth.

Love is at the very center of our beings. Sometimes we cover it up with layers upon layers of comparison, jealousy, belittling, anger, and unrealistic expectations of others or ourselves. But deep down inside, it's still there. Glowing brightly underneath all those suffocating layers.

So how do we peel away the layers to reveal the love that is inherently inside of us?

We give love away.

We give it freely and often.

We give it in this moment and the next and the next--never ceasing and never expecting any sort of reward or compensation.

We remove the "What can I get?" and replace it with "What can I give?"

It's only natural to want others to serve us or to get some measure of praise or prize for serving. But that's not who we really are. That's just a layer of fog. We can love ourselves and others unconditionally--just as Christ loves us.

Give yourself the love you need to feel secure. Let yourself experience the all-encompassing love of Jesus Christ so you can feel good enough. And once you feel it for yourself deep down inside, you will naturally desire to pour this love upon all around you.

There was a day last year when I had a flu bug of some sort and was resting in bed. It was around breakfast time when my husband and oldest son left for the day. Shortly after my sweet second son tiptoed in to see where I was. I told him I was sorry I wasn't feeling well and that I would come make him breakfast in a minute.

He left the room and pretty soon I heard dishes clanking and cupboards closing. I wondered what he was doing. I thought I heard the toaster and thought how responsible he had become in the last little while. I smiled to myself thinking he was making himself and his little sister breakfast without even being asked. Within just a few minutes, he was back in my room with a bowl in hand and a piece of toast he had made especially for me.

The toast was cold and made from the very small end of the loaf. It was burnt all along the bottom with a a cold chunk of butter in the very center and a rather large pile of sugar with a smidgeon of cinnamon.

And it was the most delicious toast I have ever eaten in my whole life. Because it was made by my son--from the perfect tenderness of his loving heart.

It doesn't matter what you do. Just give. Let the love flow from your heart and watch it come soaring back a hundredfold...

31 Days to Peace Index

Day 25: Out in Nature

There's something so utterly refreshing and peaceful about immersing yourself in nature...

I have always been such an indoor girl, but my heart often yearns to step outside my comfort zone and embrace all of God's magnificent creations. And every time I do, I never regret it.

I have sat on the shores of the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans; I have waded in lakes and streams and creeks; I have walked through wheat fields and corn fields and gazed out over expansive plains; I have hiked hills and mountains; I have rested under the shade of trees and napped on the sand.

These outdoor spaces have been perhaps the most peaceful of my life and I have felt closer to heaven than anywhere else--except for the holy temple.

God's handiwork is magnificent. And just stepping out into the wonderland of His creations electrifies me with awe.

Today we enjoyed a family day--eating at a restaurant, going to a movie, and weaving our way through a corn maze.

I was revived with the fresh air and tranquility.

How do you connect with nature?

If you ever need to come alive and strike a fresh sense of marvelous within you, step outside.

31 Days to Peace Index

Day 24: Be Still

Yesterday I wrote briefly on the power of uplifting, positive music to heal, comfort, and bring peace. Music is one of the essential tools to peace that I keep in my "toolkit," but today I submit to you another essential tool that is the exact opposite--stillness. These two tools have never failed me and together, they operate in a balanced harmony.

Stillness is one of my absolute favorite words. {Maybe that's why I used it in the title of this blog space.} Stillness does not just mean quiet or the absence of noise. It has a deeper meaning to me. One of the definitions of the word "still" is:

"free from turbulence or commotion; peaceful; tranquil; calm:"

Do you make stillness a regular part of your day? Are there times when the TV is off, when the phone is silenced, when even the music is hushed? With little children, my home is usually humming with laughter, activity, and play (and sometimes quarrels too...). But there are a few peaceful parts of my day that emit considerable more stillness than any others.

The first is early morning. I love to wake before my children (except on Saturdays) and revel in the stillness. It's my time and I use it well. I love to study my scriptures, pray, and meditate. My morning stillness powers me up with positive energy to live my day well.

The second time is naptime. Has there ever been a more glorious word invented for young mothers?? When the little ones sleep and the older ones quietly play by themselves for while, there is a golden glow of stillness that fills my home and my heart. My big picture windows face south and the afternoon sun streams in golden hues all around me at this still time of day. I relish this time of stillness to write, to dream, to plan, to read. I fill my well by taking some time to care for myself and ready myself for the afternoon whirlwind of homework, snacks, cleaning, and dinner. This afternoon stillness quiets my mind and refreshes me.

The last time is bedtime. After we put the little ones to bed, the house is still once more. The littles don't always go to sleep immediately, but the evening stillness is not in jeopardy. I use this time to unwind with meditation, a warm bath or shower, and time spent with my sweetheart. We love reading novels together or watching one of our favorite shows on TV. We almost always have a little dessert and talk about everything....(I talk, Patrick patiently listens.) When the hour gets late (which happens far too quickly), we get ready for bed, read scriptures together, have companionship and personal prayers, and then turn in for the night. This last stillness segment of my day infuses me with peace, excitement, and relaxation--the perfect end to a day.

"You all know the scripture, 'Be still, and know that I am God' (Psalm 46:10). You and I may translate that into what is our equivalent of, 'Be quiet.' It is not that. It is to 'be still.' In that special stillness there comes a subduing and a focusing." ~Elder Neal A. Maxwell

I hope that you will take time to reap the rewards of stillness, for they are many. Take a small sliver of each day to rest in the stillness...for in that sliver of stillness resides true peace.

Day 23: Music

I have loved music for as long as I can remember. There's something familiar about the rhythm, the notes, the melodies and harmonies--it's a part of me in a very real way. Maybe it's because I started piano lessons at age 4 and learned the notes and "language of music" before I even learned how to read. In a way, music was my first language.

I have done two separate research papers on the healing benefits of music therapy. The power of music that I read about in studies astonished me but didn't really surprise me. Good music truly is uplifting and healing. There's something miraculous about the way music can get into the hidden places of one's heart and resonate with a poignant wave of sentiment.

How do you use music to increase your peace? Is it a regular part of your life?

I love music when I cook, do chores, have a family dance party, edit photos, when we drive, and when I write. We love so many different types of music. I especially love sacred music that invites the Holy Ghost.

I think my absolute favorite time to listen to music is when I'm feeling downtrodden or discouraged. When sadness threatens to sweep through my day, I have a special little ritual that works every time:

I turn on my iTunes playlist.

Because the Lord is the Master of my shuffle button.

He always gives me the exact songs I need to bring me hope, give me courage, offer me comfort--whatever I need, He is there.

I believe the Lord "reaches our reaching" in a way that we can easily understand, a way that connects and resonates with us. And music just happens to be my way. It's the language I most understand.

And He always reaches my reaching, giving me the peace I seek.

31 Days to Peace Index