Day 15: Book Ends to Your Day

We are halfway through this 31 Days Series to Peace. I hope you have been able to fill your heart with peace as much as I have. These last few weeks have stretched me to be sure, but I have benefitted and grown, and we're only halfway done!

For today, I want you to think about how you begin and end your day. Do you have a special routine?

Nearly ten years ago when I was living in Portugal, I would end each and every day by one of the old windows in my bedroom.

If I looked left, this was my view:

If I looked right, my view was out to the front of the house:

It was an old window with two sides that opened with a latch. On winter nights I would huddle by the radiator and gaze out the window. On warm summer nights I would throw open my windows and gaze at the scene below me from my second floor bedroom. These were my most special times of communing with the Lord. I would still do a formal prayer kneeling down, but afterwards I would always go to my window to just talk with my Father in Heaven. My chats were usually accompanied with tears, and they were always accompanied with warm feelings of love in my heart from a Father to a daughter. I treasure those precious hours I spent at that window in Portugal. How I wish I could go back and have one more Start Chat with my Father there.

I like to think of the beginning and ending of my day as bookends. Without them, the rest of my day would fall apart, just as books would fall over on a bookshelf. These two times of day could be considered the most important parts. What you do in the first few minutes of waking and the last few minutes before sleeping have a profound impact on your day and your sleep. These two time periods, if used well, can ground you and center you and bring you immense inner peace.

To be honest, my bookends have never been entirely perfect or consistent or high-quality. Long ago, I used to let the events of the day, (usually the negative ones) run on replay in my mind depriving me of much-needed rest. I thought that a good night's sleep would make all the worries go away, but what really happened was I would wake up with the haunting worries flying right back to my mind like a magnet. I didn't feel rested and the worries were ever-nagging. Over time I have learned how to use these pivotal points of my day to nourish and soothe me. And now with each passing day I am shaping my mornings and evenings into vital time frames that serve me.

As you ponder on your own circumstances, maybe a few of these questions will spark an idea of something you could implement or tweak or fold into your morning or evening bookend.

MORNING BOOKEND
Do you start your day with things that energize you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Do your activities leave you feeling refreshed, recharged, and powered up?

Physical Ideas: drinking a glass of water to jumpstart your metabolism, an invigorating shower, exercise you love, moving your body, stretching, yoga, aerobics, dancing, walking in nature, jogging, Zumba, lifting weights, etc.

Spiritual Ideas: prayer, pondering, study of the scriptures, gratitude listing, listening to the Spirit to plan who needs you and what most needs to be accomplished

Mental/Emotional Ideas: listening to or writing your positive affirmations, reading a thought-provoking book, listening to an uplifting talk, working on one of your projects, meditation, creative visualization, journaling, prioritizing, art, writing


EVENING BOOKEND
Do you consistently end your day with a sequence of things that soothe you and allow you to wind down, preparing you for a good night's rest? When your head falls into your pillow do you feel calm and relaxed?

Physical Ideas: drinking a glass of water or warm juice, a soothing bath, massage, yoga, stretching, deep breathing

Spiritual Ideas: prayer, pondering, study of the scriptures, gratitude listing, communing with the heavens to make an accounting for your day

Mental/Emotional Ideas: listening to or writing your positive affirmations, reading a calming book, meditation, relaxation, creative visualization, journaling, art, writing, talking with a loved one about your day's happenings


A FEW TIPS:

First, you might consider naming or labeling your bookends: Morning Routine/Evening Routine,  Power-up/Power-down, Magic Mornings/Enchanting Evenings...be creative and create a name that resonates with you. This will allow these special times to be up close and personal to you.

Second, don't be afraid to play and experiment with different elements. There's no one right way, just many good ways to make your bookends powerful. Don't worry about getting it right the first time. Try a few elements for a few days and change them up until you arrive at what feels best for you and brings you the most peace. I'm still molding and tweaking my bookends to get them just right. Enjoy the process, and remember that life is a process and a journey--not a destination. Enjoy every step.

Lastly, try to be consistent. I know there are days, and more than we care to admit, that leave us taxed and drained and exhausted beyond our breaking point. On these days it's tempting to skip our morning and evening routines for lack of time or an overload of stress. But these routines, if consistently practiced, will be the very things that anchor us to our core and offer a foundation of peace and wellbeing. They are not to be used only when stressed, nor are they to be used only when everything is going fantastic. They are to be employed day after day, week after week, and month after month. They will ground us and center us to the things that will nourish our bodies, minds, and spirits and give us the energy to live the amazing life of our dreams!

What do you do to make your morning and evening bookends powerful times of grounding and centering? Please share your ideas. I'd love to learn from you!

Day 14: Window to my Rhythm

Today you get a peek into my life right now. Like I said yesterday, my Master Rhythm changes so frequently--so what's here most likely will be switched up before too long. This is in no way for you to compare or feel like you have to do your schedule just like mine. We are all unique and we have different needs. But perhaps this will spark a few ideas for you.

MASTER RHYTHM

6:00 Wake up
6:15 Personal Scripture Study
6:45 Wake up the boys, help them make their beds, get dressed, and say prayers
7:00--Make and eat breakfast, make lunches, brush teeth
7:40--Family Prayer, Patrick takes the boys to the bus
7:50--Clean up Breakfast
8:00--Yoga and get ready for the day
9:15--Special time with my daughter
9:45--Pick up the house and do laundry
10:15--House Management things (varies by day: budgeting, planning, shopping, etc.)
11:30--Pick up Tate
12:00--Lunch
1:00--Storytime
1:30--daughter's nap time, help son with homework and spend time with him
2:00--Take a break
3:15--Prepare Snacks/Other son home
3:30--Help other son with homework
4:00--Make dinner
5:30--Dinner
6:30--Clean up
6:45--Baths, get ready for bed, pick up rooms, set out clothes
7:00--Read-a-loud book (if time), family scripture study, family prayer
7:30--Quiet Time
8:00--Children's Lights out
8:30--Spend time with Patrick
9:30--Get ready for bed, companionship scripture study and prayer
10:30--Lights Out

 {It's taped to the inside of one of my kitchen cupboard}

So there you have it. A window into my daily life. There are obviously days where the schedule goes completely out the window and we have to make needed adjustments depending on the day. There is also one day where I volunteer in my son's class and another day when I babysit so my friend can volunteer in her son's class. So the schedule looks a bit different on those days. But overall, having a Master Rhythm allows me to not worry about what I'm going to do everyday. I know there will be time for everything and I have the flexibility to change it up at any time.

I would love to get a peek into your daily routine, if you wouldn't mind sharing! Share in the comments or email me. I love finding fresh new ideas to improve!

Have a fantastic day!

31 Days to Peace Index

Day 13: Create your Rhythm

Along with yesterday's post to "Envision," today's post will greatly enhance your sense of peace as you create your ideal, yet realistic daily routine.

There are many different words we use to describe the rhythm of our day....daily structure, routine, schedule, plan. I love the word "rhythm" because it sets me up for a reliable, yet flexible daily routine. For me, the other words seem too rigid, and I much prefer to flow through my day at a comfortable, disciplined, flexible pace.

Back on Day 2, when we talked about "Finding Yourself" I encouraged you to find a pace to move through your day that is comfortable for you. This helps in creating an ideal structure for your day.

As a quick review, here are the 4 questions I posed to help you find your movement:

• Do you enjoy a fast-paced, goal-driven approach to life and the thrill that comes with each new accomplishment? 
• Or would you choose a slower, more flowing lifestyle that meanders through a flexible rhythm?  
• Maybe you prefer a highly-structured day, a routine that is steady and methodical yet still?
• Or maybe you love to randomly bounce from one task or project to another in a fun, lighthearted fashion?

Once you have determined your movement, it's time to set up your daily rhythm (or routine, structure, plan....depending on your favorite term). I like to call mine my "Master Rhythm."

So let's get started! Here are 6 easy steps to creating your Master Rhythm:

1. Create your Master Rhythm where you will see it often. Whether you write it down on a piece of paper, type it on your computer, or use your phone calendar, make sure you hang it in a location you will see often or store it in a place you can easily access.
2. It doesn't have to be perfect!! I can't stress this one enough. Sometimes we are so concerned about creating the perfect schedule that we fail to create anything and then our days lean toward chaos. Anything is better than nothing. Use pencil if you are afraid of pen being too permanent. 
3. Remember you can revise your Master Rhythm at any time!!! I can't even count the number of revised and brand-new rhythms I have created throughout the years. Each season requires different things. A schedule for a full-time student will look very different than one for a business owner or one for a stay-at-home mother. Even though I am a stay-at-home mother, my routine has changed dozens of times with the addition of each child and the differing needs of growing children. 
4. Plan to revise or rewrite your Master Rhythm at the very minimum of once a year. Before my children were in school, I typically revised mine at the change of each season--Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. Now that I have two children in school and one at home, I rewrite my rhythm once before the new school year and once before summer break. Then I make small revisions to my plan as needed.
5. Start with the non-negotiables.  For me, no matter how many times I revise my daily/weekly rhythm, the following must always be included: 
1. Daily scripture study, twice daily personal prayer, twice daily family prayer, adequate sleep for myself and my family, family dinner, weekly family home evening, Sunday church services, service in my church calling, a few minutes of daily playtime with my children, evening time with my husband, afternoon story time, planning-shopping for-and cooking healthy meals, exercise, and some time for myself to pursue some of my dreams.  
2. NOTE: Your non-negotiables may be very similar or different than mine. That's okay. We are unique individuals with various needs. Schedule your most important priorities first and the rest will fall easily into place. 
6. Start with what you Know!! I don't know about you, but when I look at a blank calendar or day planner with all of the times written down the left-hand side, I tend to get a little anxious. Where do I even start? A good rule of thumb is to start with what you know. Some of your non-negotiables you have been neglecting and so you don't quite know where to fit them in. That's okay. Start with the things you do know. Start with the daily habits that are essential and are already working. Pencil those in and then move onto the other essential non-negotiables that you're unsure about. If I start with what is already working, it makes this planning stage so much smoother.
7. Jump In! For me, planning always comes easier than execution. Don't be afraid to call your Master Rhythm "good enough" and try it out. Once again, it doesn't need to be perfect. Seasons change, we change, our family needs change, and that is okay. Change is part of life. I used to resent change and the inevitable fact that I had to rewrite my schedule so many times. I kept wondering if I would ever find "the perfect schedule." Let me tell you a little secret I learned: Every schedule you create is perfect for this particular moment in time. There isn't just one perfect schedule. There are many! Peace comes in creating a workable rhythm that allows you to focus on your priorities. If you are living your daily rhythm in a manner that brings you joy and peace, then it is the perfect rhythm at this time for you. Trust in this.

Tomorrow I will post for you my current workable "Master Rhythm" to give you a few ideas if you are still stuck! See you tomorrow!

 31 Days to Peace Index

Day 12: Envision

Do you have a vision of where you want your life to be in one year? Do you have a plan of how to get there? Do you have goals to fulfill your plan?
Peace comes in knowing how you want to live your life--what you want to become, accomplish, and experience. It is so good for the soul to dream...

Take time every so often to make goals big and small so your dreams can become reality. We all have ideas of what we wish our life could be. Anything is possible. Believe in your dreams and the vision for your life. Believe that your deepest wishes, your heartfelt desires can be realized. Then make actionable steps to get there.

Here is the formula:

1. Dream (Let your mind daydream about all the marvelous opportunities for your life)
2. Wish (From your daydreams, what do you wish you could have, experience, or accomplish in your life?)
3. Vision (Create a vision for your year [or 5 years, 10 years, etc.])
4. Map (What is your plan--your overarching goals--to realize your year's vision?)
5. Actionable Steps (What small steps can you take to reach your overarching goals?)

This is the way goal planning works best for me:

YEARLY VISION
January is a special month for me. I take weeks rereading the past year's journals and blog posts to see what I learned and experienced the past year and where to go from here. Then I create a theme for my year and a few overarching goals to accomplish. These overarching goals fall under the following categories: spiritual connection, homemaker, self care, health, creativity, marriage, and family.

MONTHLY MAP
On Fast Sunday, Patrick and I sit together in what we like to call "Companionship Inventory." We begin with prayer and then discuss our goals from the past month and how our children are doing. After that, we make new goals for ourselves and how to help our children. We run through our calendar for the coming months and plan a time to attend the temple together. Afterward, we tell each other a reason we are grateful for one another and then end with our testimonies and a closing prayer.

WEEKLY STEPS
I take a few minutes each Sunday to assess where I am and how the past week played out for me. Then I create a few actionable steps for the upcoming week and pencil them in my planner and calendar to ensure they happen. If I don't check up on myself once a week, my goals fall by the wayside and I fail to make progress toward my monthly goals and yearly vision.

BONUS TIP
One of my favorite ways to turn my dreams into a reality is to ponder on them as I fall asleep. Imagining yourself living the life of your dreams or accomplishing your goals is an amazing way to jumpstart your success. There are many free guided meditations you can listen to or you can simply visualize yourself.

My challenge for you today is to try some of these steps. As I have turned my dreams into reality through creating visions, maps, and steps to get there, I have felt deep, calming peace. I know the same can be for you...

31 Days to Peace Index

Day 11: To Serve

To serve is noble. It brings a peace that passes understanding. It knits hearts together and blesses both the giver and the receiver. It is gratifying and miraculous to receive, but giving adds a glorious dimension to life.

It was two weeks ago today that we gathered as a Stake Relief Society to sew pillowcases and make quilts for a women's shelter. I remember walking into the gymnasium where dozens of women were milling about with yards of fabric in hand, piecing together matching fabrics, folding, cutting and ironing. There were a dozen sewing machines humming and brand new pillows were piled on the floor under the stage. Tables were covered with fleece blankets, circled by smiling women tying the ends. The whole scene reminded me of a lovely beehive.

I decided to help at an area I knew I could be successful--ironing. Sewing has never been a great talent of mine, but ironing I could do. My job might have seemed meaningless, only it wasn't to me. I ironed pieces of unfinished pillowcases for a few minutes, but soon completed pillowcases started piling on the stage behind me. I ironed each and every one in the pile.

The lights shinig down on me were as warm as the iron, making me feel all aglow inside.  Music played off to my right--songs by Hilary Weeks. In one song she sang of never knowing what a difference we make as we bless the lives of those around us. Tears stung my eyes and blurred my vision for a brief moment. I imagined sorrowing women accepting these hand-sewn pillowcases I was ironing and stroking the fabric as if it were the most beautiful gift in the world. I imagined their heads falling into their new pillows draped in a beautiful pillowcase and feeling a comfort perhaps never experienced.

I thought of my own iron at home sitting on the shelf collecting dust. The only time it gets used is when my husband irons his clothes for work. I don't even iron our clothes--I thought to myself--let alone my family's pillowcases and yet here I am carefully pressing and folding these. Why? Because these pillowcases are not for me. They are for Him. And they must be the very best. The scripture from Matthew flashed through my mind:

"Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

"When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

"Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Time passed and the women finished up their tasks to congregate at the dinner tables. But since I had arrived late, I kept working until the last possible minute. I just couldn't leave until all the pillowcases in the pile had been ironed. I was nearly finished when I noticed a lady carefully place a pillowcase on top of the pile. I instantly recognized it. It was sewn from the fabric I had donated a few weeks before. It was beautiful. I smiled to myself and felt a sweet and tender approval from my Father in heaven. My work had been accepted. My service was enough.

And my peace? It was overflowing...

31 Days to Peace Index

Day 10: Have Fun

I've been with my son's 2nd grade class today on a field trip. My sweet mother came over in the wee hours of the morn to babysit my other two little ones. I left my housework, my to-do list, and all other cares behind me and together, my son and I went on an adventure.

I had four little boys in my group and their contagious laughter and smiles were enough to make the whole day perfect. They crawled on the ground under the machine guns and asked me to take about a thousand pictures of them posing in front of jets and helicopters and statues. We went on two scavenger hunts and they each made their own rockets and launched them. My son's rocket, which he proudly named the "Tiger Seeker" sailed high and spiraled all the way down. He was all grins and elation running over to me to ask if I had seen it.

On the way home, the school kids were geared up and sword-fighting with their rockets. The windows were ALL down and the wind was whipping my hair everywhere. But it was the best. I loved every minute.

Now I'm home and everything is still as my littles watch a short movie (Friday is movie day!!) I'm so glad I took the time out of my schedule to just have fun. Why don't I do this more often? Why do I sometimes get so caught up in the thick of thin things and neglect to relish fun activities with my children while they're little?

What fun activities do you regularly or spontaneously do with your family? I love to hear ideas from anybody who will share them.

In my family, we love weekends. By Friday morning, I'm ready for some family fun. There's just something special about Friday nights. It's like a magical aura hangs over the whole day with the promise of no more work, no more school, and a whole weekend ahead of you.

Growing up, Friday was our family fun night. We almost always visited four different fast food restaurants to order every person the thing they most wanted and then headed home to hunker downstairs in our beautiful cozy room my mother had so beautifully decorated. My sisters and I sat on the floor by the green coffee table and we watched a movie on Pax TV or one of our favorite family videos. After dinner we'd have ice cream and finish our movie, then head off to bed in bliss.

Now that I have a little family of my own, our family traditions are still being formed. I'm sure our Friday nights will mold and transform as the years progress, but for now we have ice cream and watch a family movie together in our upstairs theater every Friday night. We call it "Family Movie Night."

What is special about your Friday nights?

As for other fun things we like to do together as a family on any random day of the week, I could compile quite a list. Here are a few of our current favorites (all of which could happen more frequently):

• Summer vacations
• Winter swimming in a hotel swimming pool
• Eating out once or twice a month
• Eating lunch with Daddy at his work once a week
• Going to parks
• Going out to ice cream
• Playing board games
• Dance parties
• Wrestling
• Going to a park
• Having picnics upstairs to watch a movie
• Having picnics outside 
• Riding the 4 wheeler while pulling the small 4 wheeler behind us in the hills surrounding our home
• Playing in the snow
• Making cookies or hot chocolate or popcorn
• Having little contests (legos, play doh, art, relay races, etc.)
• Holiday traditions
• Playing catch or basketball
• Singing together

Here are some I'd love to try:

• Exercising together
• Doing hobbies together
• Minute to Win it Competitions
• Scavenger Hunts
• Talent Shows

Could you give me any more ideas to add to my list?

My biggest obstacle I face in implementing more "fun" into our family life is TIME. Why does everything feel so rushed these days? Even when I have relatively little planned I find the hours slipping away too swiftly. Is there any answer to the age-old time trial?

I think there is.

Will you accept the challenge? Can you introduce a little bit more fun this weekend? Try it and see what a difference it makes.

31 Days to Peace

Day 9: A Positive Lens Invites Light

Sometimes we think we just get a handle on peace--only to be pelted with a flurry of discouraging words and negative thoughts. How do you keep your inner sense of calm when negativity threatens to knock you at every turn?

This is something which I continue to battle. Even today I've grasped for answers. I talked to my sister on the phone for a long while to uncover the jewels of wisdom from one of the most positive people I know.

Everything she said resonated with me. What an example she is to me!

After reading an article about the horrible effects of negative self-talk and the resulting critical attitude toward others, she made a turning point decision to radically change her thoughts and her words to the positive. She chose to love herself and eliminate the negative self-talk. She chose to only speak positive words to and about her brand new baby girl and only complimentary, edifying words that lifted those around her. And she admitted that the results were unbelievable. The growth was striking. She and all those in her sphere of influence began to blossom. Even the world and trees were brighter and more beautiful. Truly, that one decision was life-changing.

And as I listened to her words, I wanted to be like her. I want to have that kind of effect on myself, my family, and all the people I encounter each day. I want that same peace that shines from her heart.

The only way to accomplish this is to put new lenses in my "glasses" and choose to see with a new perspective.

It starts with kindness to ourselves. Not even one negative thought about ourselves should be allowed to remain on the stage of our minds! When one creeps up, we must have the courage to replace it immediately with a positive statement. There are hundreds of affirmations we could use. Here are a few to start with:

• I am awesome! (or wonderful, or beautiful, or anything positive!)
• I have confidence in me!
• I am powerful and I use my power for good!
• I am guided!
• I can do this!
• I can do anything!
• I am enough!
• I have faith!
• I give myself permission to be myself!
• Today will unfold for my greatest good!
• I am special and unique!
• I am priceless and eternally valuable!

Think of your own. Mix and match and use a statement that seems to fit your current circumstance. Say it to yourself. Say it out loud. Whisper it quietly. Write it down over and over. Even if it doesn't feel true, trust that one day it will. You will develop the self confidence, self love and positivity you need!

Second, be positive to those around you. Build them up. Never tear them down. Look for the tiniest shred of good and capitalize on that. Be that one shining light they need. Be the answer to their prayers. Be the friend you've always wanted to have.

As you bit by bit, eliminate the negative and replace it with the positive, your peace will abound and grow and swell to a glowing warmth in your heart. Positivity invites light. Negativity invites darkness. 

Look to the light!
Reach for the light!

31 Days to Peace Index